He Said, She Said: Dating

She Said: Go Get Your Man

I admit to being a rebel.

I open my own doors, pay for my own dinners and walk darkly lit paths

alone at night. I can’t help it; I’m an independent woman.

My guy friends have told

horror stories about girls ordering expensive meals & pushing bills

across the table, or throwing temper tantrums when they didn’t get some pricey trinket.

I can never be

that person.

I’ll pay my bill and yours, too.

Ladies, it’s time to wake up. You can turn an idiot into a slobbering idiot by taking charge. Most

men, especially in college, have never been hit on and have no natural defense. It’s actually pretty

funny.

You’re strong enough to leave home, get an education and begin supporting yourself; you can do

this, too.

Right before your next date night, listen to “Trading Places” and then live it. Pick him up, give

him a nice present, open his door, pay for dinner. Spoil him rotten and watch what happens next; he’ll

be stunned. There’s something extremely satisfying about unexpectedly reversing roles. Be proactive

instead of reactive; we’re in 2013.

–Devyne Lloyd

He Said: Boyz II Men

It’s 2013 and a lot of things are different from 100 years ago, 50 years ago, even 10 years ago.

It’s the natural order of things and that’s great. Without change, how would we learn what traditions to

keep and what traditions to get rid of? What works?

We as people, and as individuals, learn through experience; our actions become habit.

With that being said, many of men’s habits are because of you, ladies; or rather, the hopes of you.

It is how we are wired. That room was (more of) a mess until his crush shot him a text saying she’ll stop by

before class. He didn’t want to work an extra shift, but he really wanted to impress her with a nicer than

usual date. That 8 year old really didn’t want to give up his juice box, but the girl who always plays with

him is really thirsty.

It’s often said the right woman changes a man for the better. I think that’s true.

Now with that said, there’s nothing wrong with the lady not caring about a messy room (and we thank

you all for it), her working more so they may prosper more as a couple. But habits are born from actions,

so when I think the girl is always giving the 10 year old boy a juice box, he has no experience. No action

is taken, no habit formed.

It’s no guarantee but in a world where he doesn’t learn to go the extra mile

for what he wants, what he’s wired to pursue, it’s a good starting point for stagnation. He becomes lazy.

He will remain a boy.

You don’t want that. As an independent woman, you are still a woman, and you want not a boy but a

man with goals, ambition, drive. Hard to find, right? I mean some of you may not even like kids, so why

end up with a grown child?

While occasionally or out of necessity showing you can hold it down is great for humanity- and for

decent men, relieving- let him clean his room. Let him work harder to build something with you. Let him

build habits.

If you know you’re independent, don’t be afraid to show it, but pick and choose when you do.

Female independence has always been about being able to be as independent as a man in a man’s

world; make him live up to the standards you deserve.

After all, you want a man, right? If it’s built into him that it’s less work to attain you, he’ll work less

period.

We are our habits, even the ones we never build.

It’s already a man’s world. Don’t make it worse.

–Kris Jordan-Taylor Johnson

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